This way you will be more skilled next time, and maybe you can do a version of it adapted to the situation you are in.The Emotion- Sensation Feeling Wheel is one of the most popular resources from my download catalog. It is still useful to practice this exercise even when you are not at the peak of the situation. Maybe you still feel bitter, or you feel some other secondary emotion as a response to the first one. Perhaps you felt enraged when you were at work and you really didn't have the time to just find a quiet space and do this routine, but try to observe what you'll feel when you head home. When we feel overwhelming emotions, even if the moment of the highest intensity involves a situation we can't immediately leave, very often we have a lingering sense of the emotion. I can't leave the situation that is causing my emotion, so when should I do the exercise? Maybe you have a hard time accepting some underlying issue, in that case you can go back to practicing the exercise Radical acceptance from the second module Distress tolerance. After you are done with the exercise try to figure out why you have the need to block this emotion, if you think that that would be beneficial. You can set your timer to 5 minutes so that you remind yourself that you'll be doing this for a relatively short time. Just keep observing that you feel the need to block this emotion and keep doing the exercise. Remember that this too is a skill that is gradually practiced, so just be patient.ĭuring step three, I keep noticing that I just want to stop doing the exercise, I'm uncomfortable with the emotion. Just accept this and try to let the judgments go. It is normal for your mind to wander and do what it automatically does. I am working on the emotion anger (my wife said something really hurtful to me), and I can't stop judging her while I'm doing the steps.įirst, it is great that you observed that judgments arise in you while you are doing the exercise. They come and go, and even when they are uncomfortable, the skillful approach of dealing with them in an informed way is a better alternative than reacting in the automatic behavioral response. For example, if you usually lash out at people and argue because of feeling hurt, how does it feel to just be with the emotion and not take any action? Now that you've been mindful for a while of the emotion and of the whole wave-like process, observe how it feels to just sit with the emotion and not take the usual action. Think of this process like a wave or a cycle that is ever-changing and temporary. Perhaps you even started feeling another emotion as a response to the first one. Now that you've been present together with your emotion for a while, do you notice any change? Maybe the intensity of the emotion changed. You will notice that, perhaps, allowing yourself to feel the emotion will change the process in some way. What are you feeling? What is the intensity of the emotion? Do you feel like the intensity will increase or has it reached its peak? Do you feel any bodily sensations as a result of the emotion? Be open to the emotion even if right now you don't feel as comfortable as you like. Take a few deep breaths, and observe the emotion. Once you've identified that the emotions you are working on started arising, take 5 minutes to sit down and observe the process. Notice that first you need to get familiar with all the steps of the exercise, so that later during the day (or perhaps the next few days) when the emotion arises - you will be prepared to apply these steps. Since it is a chronic one, one that you've been struggling with often, you will probably be able to identify it when it arises. Next, during the day try to be observant and open to noticing when this emotion arises in you. Then, in the worksheet write down what emotion you picked and what your usual resulting behavior is. Think about the underlying emotion behind this. For example, maybe you fight a lot with your close ones (friends and family), maybe you have difficulties with your job, or your relationship with your children could use some work. By now, doing the previous exercises from this and the other two modules should prepare you to easily observe your emotions and resulting behaviors. The way you will recognize this is by trying to remember certain repetitive problematic behaviors you have in your day to day life as a result by this emotion. Think about an emotion that you've noticed you have a hard time accepting.
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